Here’s a proposal for all the entrepreneurs out there looking to try a wacky new venture, who can come to the table with my non-refundable $2,000 finder’s fee and my usual case of Strongbow rider.
I’m in the process of arranging my third trip this winter from Minnesota (“The Land of 1,000,000 Retreating Testicles”) to a warm locale. In addition to the hourly seething jealousy calls I’m receiving from friends and colleagues, I’m once again put in the position of trying to coordinate how I’ll get to the airport on public transport without freezing to death, but then not having to fly all the way to Guam with a double-wide parka and having to drag it around in 90 degree heat for two weeks like a hobo.
It’s occurred to me that I must be the 857,274th person to face this conundrum since November. And what does a wide-spread conundrum mean? A cash cow for some opportunistic genius, that’s what.
Someone needs to open a coat check business at MSP. It’d be so simple and wildly popular. You set up a seasonal booth in the departures hall where people can drop off their coats as soon as they step in from the cold. At the end of the day the coat check person would haul all the coats down to a storage room by baggage claim, which would also conveniently serve as the coat pick-up point for people when they return from their trips. If you charge something like $2 a day for storage and take in as little as 100 coats each day, you’re in the black.
Additional revenue streams could be created by offering long term storage for people (I think the lockers at MSP have a 48 hour max time limit) and running a coat/hat/gloves/boots rental service for those unlucky people visiting us in February from places like Atlanta where if it gets below 40 degrees weather emergencies are declared, Blues Brothers-caliber 90-car pile-ups dot the highways and the National Guard is deployed to thwart looting at the Home Depot.
Obviously, this venture would only be viable for about four months a year. So what would this genius entrepreneur do with his or her summer? I don’t know, how about watching syndicated TV and eating bonbons? They’ll be flush with funds from their genius venture, after all. Or maybe they could run a Dairy Queen. Whatever.
So am I a genius or what? Or has someone already tried this and gone bankrupt after six weeks? Eh, I’m a genius anyway.
[Photo credit: Draconiansleet]